There was a very obvious drop off in posts after December of 2015. 2015. I couldn’t even tell you who I was in 2015. So so so much has changed since then it seems like another life ago. That is half the reason I stopped blogging- too much time had passed. But here is the big one: I was lost.
I was a junior in high school and suddenly my life was not so simple anymore. School was hard, everyone was busy, and out of nowhere, boys had entered the equation. The thing is, freshman and sophomore year I thought I had it all figured out. I felt like I had advice to give and that what I was saying was right. Junior year is when a big dose of reality came my way and I realized I needed to sit down and buckle up, because I had no idea what I was doing.
That feeling was basically my life for the next two years. This massive uncertainty was constantly surrounding me, but then I found myself as a freshman at Elon sitting in English 110 this past semester. By the grace of God (I swear) I was given the best english professor. I fell in love with english and writing again. I was excited to go to his class twice a week and thrilled to write papers. We did not do the basic argumentative essays we wrote ones he thought would actually interest us and make us want to write them.
We wrote a recommendation letter essay, an essay about music, and a modern love essay. My poor professor had no idea that having us write this modern love essay would essentially turn him into my therapist for the semester. This essay was part of my final portfolio so I worked on it all semester. Yes, the essay is about a boy, but more than that my professor made me realize the larger underlying story going on- I had no idea what the hell I was doing. The essay ends with me coming to terms with the fact I don’t have it all figured out, and beyond that, maybe I am okay with it.
So no, I still do not know what I am doing. But, I do think that is okay. I am 18. I am not supposed to have it all figured out. The purpose of this blog is now dedicated to not figuring it out, but riding along with me throughout the journey.
Everyone buckle up again because I am about to start my sophomore year of college and who knows what will happen. I sure don’t.